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Enough

Since lunch with X a couple of weeks ago, I've been struggling with my sense of self-worth. Hearing his explanations of why our marriage didn't work left me doubting myself and questioning the qualities in myself that I thought gave me value to others.

Rolled into the lack of self-worth is an over-abundance of self-hatred over the fact that the value God sees in me, that He placed in me before I was even born, isn't enough for me. I believe with all my heart that I am wonderfully made and a child of the most high God but as a sit alone in my house, I struggle with that being enough. As I try to put the pieces of my broken heart back together, I doubt that anyone but Him will love me in the way I yearn to be loved - for me, just the way I am, quirks and all. Why isn't my faith strong enough for God's love to be enough for me? Why do I need other people's validation that I matter?

I don't have any answers but in case you are struggling with the same things tonight, here are some posts that have really helped me. It's funny - there seems to be a theme in the blogs that I read and the inspirational emails that make their way to my inbox. I think God's once again trying to tell me something.

I am enough. And I pray that feeling gets so deep into my heart that no matter what others around me do to make me question it, that belief will be unshakeable.

All That Matters by Grit and Glory (Alece Ronzino)
http://www.gritandglory.com/all-that-matters/

Your Worth is Beyond What You Know by Holley Gerth
http://holleygerth.com/your-worth-is-beyond-what-you-know/

Satan's Favorite Word by Jon Acuff
http://www.jonacuff.com/stuffchristianslike/2013/05/satans-favorite-word/
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