Skip to main content

Five Minute Friday: Remember

Remember - it seems that's all I do. I remember what it was like to be married, to have someone hold me when I cried after a rough day. Remember what it was like to have a confidante who I was 100% sure would not betray my confidence. I remember what it was like when he told me that he was moving out, how I cried so hard that my legs wouldn't hold me and I slid down the wall.

I can't remember a time when my heart wasn't broken. I can't remember a time when there was hope in my future. I can't remember what it felt like to believe that I'm worth something.

I remember the things I did that may have made him leave. I remember the things I didn't do. I remember the things I wished I'd said and left unsaid.

I often think if I could just get him to remember what we had, remember the way I loved him, maybe then he'd see what he walked away from and come back.

I've tried to remember what it was like to have dreams, a plan for the future, but those thoughts seem so dim that I can't remember them. I've tried to remember what I wanted from my life so that I could strive to still achieve those things but then I remember that I was left and I can't believe in those things anymore.

I try to remember that I have a God that loves me, a family that loves me, and friends who care. But so many days, remembering those things isn't enough. They are crowded out by the memory of how things were and how I thought they'd always be.

Comments

  1. Don't try to remember but know God loves you ... your family loves you ... your friends care. Life isn't always kind, but remember those three precepts (God loves you ... your family loves you ... your friends care) and you'll get through it. You're in my prayers.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Andrea, i'm so sorry for your heartbreak. i can't imagine and you've captured it powerfully with your words. i've just prayed for you - that God helps you to remember than He is enthralled with you and your beauty and that you feel held held and loved by divine today.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Andrea, I pray that you'll receive a fresh and new encounter with the Lord. That you'll find fresh purpose from him and you'll see a new way in which you'll find your true worth. I also pray that your pain becomes less raw, as pain can be so consuming.

    ReplyDelete
  4. May you find comfort and peace during this season. I know as you write God will continue to give you a lifeline with words and minister grace and back to you. Thank you for keeping it real. I appreciate your honest, brave heart.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Minute Friday: Should

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/. This week's word is Should.

I am constantly looking for signs, my own personal burning bush to show me what I should be doing and this week's prompt is my signal that I need to get back to writing my blog. That I should be writing.

I've thought a lot about this word since seeing this video of Oprah and Tony Robbins.  In it he says we should all over ourselves and that if we want to see change in our lives we should change should to must. That is when we actually do the things, when we change that one word.

I should have done laundry today.

I should have pulled weeds.

I should have posted this on Friday instead of Saturday.

I should pray more.

I should trust God.

What would happen if I changed those shoulds into action. Maybe not as strong as must, because laundry and weeds aren't life changing. But if instea…

Write 31 Days

I have struggled with a theme for this year's 31 days. I waited for the Write 31 Days prompts, hoping I would be inspired. But when I got to some tricking questions, I abandoned that idea. Then my thought was Follow My Dreams with the things I should be doing to achieve that goal. But then I got my daily text from Shine.com that read "How often do we think 'When I get to X, then I'll feel good...pushing happy to the future'". Am I waiting until I feel like I have achieved enough steps in my journey to be happy?  I beat myself up so much for not doing what I think I should be doing, I couldn't spend 31 days doing that to myself. Then the Five Minute Writes prompts came and I thought, "Maybe I can build action points around those points to spend my October accomplishing things." But isn't that still telling myself that I'm not good enough?

So for this Write 31 Days, I'm going to do just that. Write. I'm not going to try to fit acc…

31 Days: Invite for Five Minute Friday

Is there anything better than receiving an invitation to do something fun? This is a photo from a concert that my friend invited me to attend with her. It is the band Dawes. The evening was so much fun. We grabbed dinner at a restaurant my friend had never been to and then we stood in line for the general admission show. Since we were the third and fourth people in line, we were able to get right up next to the stage. It was one of the most amazing evenings I've ever had.

It was so nice that my friend, someone I met at church, remembered that I liked this band and invited me to join her at their concert. It is hard to make new friends after a certain age and this invitation from her made me so thankful that I had someone to go out and have fun with.

I think invitations are one of the best things that being the part of a church bring to my life. On my first Sunday there, someone invited me to attend a Sunday School class. The next invitation I received was for the women's book…