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Five Minute Friday: Remember

Remember - it seems that's all I do. I remember what it was like to be married, to have someone hold me when I cried after a rough day. Remember what it was like to have a confidante who I was 100% sure would not betray my confidence. I remember what it was like when he told me that he was moving out, how I cried so hard that my legs wouldn't hold me and I slid down the wall.

I can't remember a time when my heart wasn't broken. I can't remember a time when there was hope in my future. I can't remember what it felt like to believe that I'm worth something.

I remember the things I did that may have made him leave. I remember the things I didn't do. I remember the things I wished I'd said and left unsaid.

I often think if I could just get him to remember what we had, remember the way I loved him, maybe then he'd see what he walked away from and come back.

I've tried to remember what it was like to have dreams, a plan for the future, but those thoughts seem so dim that I can't remember them. I've tried to remember what I wanted from my life so that I could strive to still achieve those things but then I remember that I was left and I can't believe in those things anymore.

I try to remember that I have a God that loves me, a family that loves me, and friends who care. But so many days, remembering those things isn't enough. They are crowded out by the memory of how things were and how I thought they'd always be.
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  1. nomadMarch 22, 2013 at 4:40 PM

    Don't try to remember but know God loves you ... your family loves you ... your friends care. Life isn't always kind, but remember those three precepts (God loves you ... your family loves you ... your friends care) and you'll get through it. You're in my prayers.

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  2. Richelle WrightMarch 22, 2013 at 4:55 PM

    Andrea, i'm so sorry for your heartbreak. i can't imagine and you've captured it powerfully with your words. i've just prayed for you - that God helps you to remember than He is enthralled with you and your beauty and that you feel held held and loved by divine today.

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  3. AnonymousMarch 22, 2013 at 10:41 PM

    Andrea, I pray that you'll receive a fresh and new encounter with the Lord. That you'll find fresh purpose from him and you'll see a new way in which you'll find your true worth. I also pray that your pain becomes less raw, as pain can be so consuming.

    ReplyDelete
  4. enthusiastically, dawnMarch 22, 2013 at 11:03 PM

    May you find comfort and peace during this season. I know as you write God will continue to give you a lifeline with words and minister grace and back to you. Thank you for keeping it real. I appreciate your honest, brave heart.

    ReplyDelete

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