Skip to main content

Five Minute Friday: Broken

My first thought when I read today's word was the power outages across my city. We had a 20-minute storm with winds as fast as 76 miles an hour that tore trees up from their roots and left 100,000 people without power. I didn't have power for 40 hours. In July. In Oklahoma.

It wasn't so much the heat in my house though, it was the silence. The minute I walk into my house, I turn my TV on to one of the music channels. But with no power, there was no music. I spend my evenings watching TV and without power, I went to bed at 9pm. The silence made me uneasy. It was so spooky for some reason. Then as the sun set, the darkness was amazing. The street light on the corner that lights up my living room wasn't even working. When I walked in my door after work yesterday, I was so glad to see the clock in my living room flashing 12:00. But then I realized that everything that connected me to the outside world still wasn't working - no telephone, no internet, no cable. That uneasy feeling came back and I found myself at a loss as to how to spend my evening.

I am a little ashamed to admit that I ignored the feeling to spend my silent evenings in prayer. It would have been the perfect time for quiet contemplation. I could have read my Bible by candle light. But I filled my first evening reading my Kindle and the second watching a DVD.

I wish so often that I'd hear the word of God, guiding me to the right decisions. But I was so afraid of the silence that I missed my perfect chance to spend time with Him. Does that make me a broken Christian? I sure hope not.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Minute Friday: Roots

Lisa-Jo Baker (lisajobaker.com) hosts a weekly event on her blog called "Five Minute Friday". The rules are 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. So here's my first try at this. Today's topic was Roots. Roots – I think about my grandparents who lived on a farm until my grandfather’s diabetes worsened and they moved to a town with a hospital nearby. My father still says he wished he could have kept that farm. I think of my grandmother who was a widow for 20 years. Every year she would stand over my PaPa’s grave, wishing she was with him. I think of my parents, a product of those grandparents, how hard my father worked to put 2 girls through
10 comments
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Time

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ . This week's word is Time. Sometimes time feels like this, like we are in it. Standing inside it, watching life pass by. It is so easy to get stuck in a time - in our pain, in our hurt. We hear the ache tick away in our head like a giant clock. Time, instead, is a gift. More time with family, more time to accomplish goals, more time to see the world. When you are hurting, it seems like time takes forever. One day turns into another day, turns into another day. When we hate a job, the five days of time that make up a work week seem to go on forever. But those five days are also a gift. Because these days, a job is not a guarantee. I want to see time as gift, not as a chore. I want to be on the other side of it, wishing there was more of it. Making the most of every hour, minute, and second instead of
6 comments
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Brave

Right now at this point in my life, it feels like the bravest thing I should be doing is trusting God's plan for me. It is so scary to hand everything over to Him and trust that it will all be alright. Or maybe what I should test my bravery on is trusting His timing.  I do trust that He has a good plan for me, I just wish He'd hurry up and reveal it to me. It's been six long years of waiting to see what good will come from my divorce. Six years of feeling broken, worthless, and unlovable. I believe with my whole heart that He will make good from what was meant to harm me, He will give me double for my trouble, but I want my beauty for ashes RIGHT NOW! I also need to find the bravery to believe the good things people tell me about me. This has been a really hard week for me and through their words and their shows of concerns, I know that people care about me but I can't find the courage to turn that into self-love. When I look in the mirror, I still see ug
8 comments
Read more