One Is Just A Number

I watched a video yesterday titled "Who You Are" .  It is a guy standing on a stage in an empty auditorium, telling women how wonderful they are. Words like beautiful, smart, funny, kind and unique flash on the screen, and he is so convincing and inspiring that I want to believe what he says. But how could these things be true when he's never met me? I've had people I know say some of those words to me but not a whole 3:37 minutes worth. And his voice is so passionate, like he's telling his favorite woman on the planet all of these things. You know why they are true - because they are what God thinks of me. Every single one of them. And more. He probably has superlatives to describe me that I've never even heard. He loves me so much that he sent His son to die for me. It is so hard to believe those words when the world is telling you otherwise. When a friend chooses to talk to somebody else and completely ignores me. When I still haven't be...

She was my paternal grandma. It is her furniture that fills my house. She moved from her farmhouse and away from her family to the city for my grandfather's health. She made the best chow mein noodle casserole and delicious square sugar cookies. She was protective of her baby sister, warning the nurses at the nursing home not to put her to bed with a wet head so she wouldn't catch her death of cold. I don't go outside with a wet head because of her. I wish I had learned how to propagate roses from her. She raised a wonderful man. She was my maternal grandma. My PaPa was 20 years older than her and when they married, he had children the same age as her. She loved him until the day she died, crying over his grave every Memorial Day, wishing she was with him. She would take the paper off of twist-ties and use the metal to tie cheese to mouse traps and had absolutely no problem emptying those traps of her successful captures. She loved basketball and called three-...

I did something that terrified me on Sunday - I spoke in front of my church. It wasn't a huge number of people, approximately 100, but that is more than I've talked to at once. Ever. I gave a testimony of sorts about how I feel about my church. Several weeks ago, I wrote this post from Lisa-Jo's prompt worship . Once I was done with it, I sent it to my pastor to let him know what the church meant to me. He asked me if I'd be willing to speak these words at the beginning of the service, as part of events gearing up to Pledge Sunday. This was huge for me for several reasons. Like I said, it was something that terrified me, which I am not prone to do. I shrink away from things that scare me but this time, I answered in the affirmative and hit reply to my pastor's email before I could chicken out. Second, it got me out of the shadows and moving towards being a more active member of my church. In the eight months I've been a member there, I've most...

Mercy, this is a tough one for me. I think that's why I waited until Saturday to do Five Minute Friday. I didn't want to face the topic of mercy. I am thankful everyday for God's tender mercies. The first definition of mercy that came up when I googled the word was compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.  This definitiion is my life in a nutshell. How many times has God extended this to me when I deserved to be turned into a pillar of salt like Lot's wife. How many times have I ignored his laws and his proddings and done exactly what I wanted to do. Every time he forgives me and prospers me. Every. time. I know there are people I should show mercy to. People who have broken my heart into more pieces than I can count. I think that I am showing mercy by keeping my disappointment in silence. In a day and age with social media, I could have told everyone that follows them how they have hurt me but I ha...

This is a tough one. I can't think of much for red so I'll go with the first red things that pop into my head. Red is the color of my OU Sooners, my first alma mater. This is where I learned to be on my own. It is also the color of hurricane flags as in the Golden Hurricane of the University of Tulsa, my second alma mater and my favorite place that I've ever worked. That campus feels like home and I miss it every Monday through Friday. Red is the color of apples given to teachers. I love the start of a new school year. Even though I'm not in school, I always feel the urge to buy school supplies this time of year. Red is the color of Netflix envelopes. My favorite kind of mail. I love red geraniums. When I first moved into my house, a friend warmed my house with geraniums and two big pots to plant them in. The flowers have long since died but I still have those pots and think of her every time I put new plants in them. When the red I see is blood, I want to fai...