Skip to main content

New to Ash Wednesday

Being raised Baptist, I knew very little about Ash Wednesday or Lent. I knew that my Catholic friend Judy didn’t eat meat on Fridays but that was the extent of my knowledge. It wasn’t until I was an adult that I knew about the imposition of ashes. I was so embarrassed when I pointed out to a patron of the library I worked at that she had something on her forehead. She could have been a little nicer with her explanation but it prompted me to do more research on the subject.

This will be my second Ash Wednesday to attend a service where the palms from Palm Sunday have been burned in the church courtyard. This year I’ll know better what to expect and hopefully I’ll be more able to concentrate on the words and responses than worrying about whether I’m doing it right.

As far as giving something up for Lent, I’m going to give up a behavior instead of something tangible like chocolate. I talk to myself. A lot. I’m never lonely because the sound of my own voice keeps me company. Talking to myself is how I work through things, how I rehearse difficult conversations, and unfortunately how I vent. I’ve noticed lately that I can get myself worked up about a situation just by thinking about it and verbalizing how I’m feeling. The other morning, I got myself so agitated by my train of thought that I could feel my back tightening from the anxiety.

So this year for Lent, instead of talking to myself, I’m going to talk to God. When I’m tempted to complain about a co-worker, I’m going to pray for her. When I rehearse things in my head, I’m going to turn those challenges over to God instead of imagining conversations that I probably will never have.

Spending these 40 days looking at why I deal with stress and anxiety the way I do is a perfect companion to my One Word: Up. My goal for that one word for 2013 was to do a better job looking up to God for guidance, love, and approval. When I try to work through things on my own, I’m not doing that. I hope that in looking inward to why I’m so critical and learning to pray for people instead of be frustrated by them will also help me in another one of my goals for 2013 – to be the wonderfully made person God created me to be.

It may be a little lonely for me at first, but I’m guessing God will be more than happy to keep me company.
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Minute Friday: Roots

Lisa-Jo Baker (lisajobaker.com) hosts a weekly event on her blog called "Five Minute Friday". The rules are 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. So here's my first try at this. Today's topic was Roots. Roots – I think about my grandparents who lived on a farm until my grandfather’s diabetes worsened and they moved to a town with a hospital nearby. My father still says he wished he could have kept that farm. I think of my grandmother who was a widow for 20 years. Every year she would stand over my PaPa’s grave, wishing she was with him. I think of my parents, a product of those grandparents, how hard my father worked to put 2 girls through
10 comments
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Time

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ . This week's word is Time. Sometimes time feels like this, like we are in it. Standing inside it, watching life pass by. It is so easy to get stuck in a time - in our pain, in our hurt. We hear the ache tick away in our head like a giant clock. Time, instead, is a gift. More time with family, more time to accomplish goals, more time to see the world. When you are hurting, it seems like time takes forever. One day turns into another day, turns into another day. When we hate a job, the five days of time that make up a work week seem to go on forever. But those five days are also a gift. Because these days, a job is not a guarantee. I want to see time as gift, not as a chore. I want to be on the other side of it, wishing there was more of it. Making the most of every hour, minute, and second instead of
6 comments
Read more

Five Minute Friday: Mercy

Mercy, this is a tough one for me. I think that's why I waited until Saturday to do Five Minute Friday. I didn't want to face the topic of mercy. I am thankful everyday for God's tender mercies. The first definition of mercy that came up when I googled the word was compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.  This definitiion is my life in a nutshell. How many times has God extended this to me when I deserved to be turned into a pillar of salt like Lot's wife. How many times have I ignored his laws and his proddings and done exactly what I wanted to do. Every time he forgives me and prospers me. Every. time. I know there are people I should show mercy to. People who have broken my heart into more pieces than I can count. I think that I am showing mercy by keeping my disappointment in silence. In a day and age with social media, I could have told everyone that follows them how they have hurt me but I ha
7 comments
Read more