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Five Minute Friday: Brave

Right now at this point in my life, it feels like the bravest thing I should be doing is trusting God's plan for me. It is so scary to hand everything over to Him and trust that it will all be alright. Or maybe what I should test my bravery on is trusting His timing.  I do trust that He has a good plan for me, I just wish He'd hurry up and reveal it to me. It's been six long years of waiting to see what good will come from my divorce. Six years of feeling broken, worthless, and unlovable. I believe with my whole heart that He will make good from what was meant to harm me, He will give me double for my trouble, but I want my beauty for ashes RIGHT NOW!

I also need to find the bravery to believe the good things people tell me about me. This has been a really hard week for me and through their words and their shows of concerns, I know that people care about me but I can't find the courage to turn that into self-love. When I look in the mirror, I still see ugly. I'm a walking example of the Dove video that was going around the Internet a couple of weeks ago. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpaOjMXyJGk)  If I was brave enough to see myself as others see me, there would be no stopping me. But I still see myself has a woman whose husband left and I can't get past that label I've put on myself.

As I mulled over what I would write about today, the tune to Nichole Nordeman's song "Brave" kept going through my head. I looked up the lyrics for it and I may make it my prayer on this Five Minute Friday. I want to say so long to the status quo; I want to be willing to risk it all; I want to be brave.

Right now at this point in my life, it feels like the bravest thing I should be doing is trusting God's plan for me. It is so scary to hand everything over to him and trust that it will all be alright. Or maybe what I should test my bravery on his trusting his timing.  I do trust that he has a good plan for me, I just wish he'd hurry up and reveal it to me. It's been 6 long years of waiting to see what good will come from my divorce. Six years of feeling broken, worthless, and unlovable. I believe with my whole heart that He will make good from what was meant to harm me, he will give me double for my trouble, but I want my beauty for ashes RIGHT NOW!

I also need to find the bravery to believe the good things people tell me about me. This has been a really hard week for me and through their words and their shows of concerns, I know that people care about me but I can't find the courage to turn that into self-love. When I look in the mirror, I still see ugly. I'm a walking example of the Dove video that was going around the Internet a couple of weeks ago. If I was brave enough to see myself as others see me, there would be no stopping me. But I still see myself has a woman whose husband left and I can't get past that label I've put on myself.

As I mulled over what I would write about today, the tune to Nichole Nordeman's song "Brave" kept going through my head. I looked up the lyrics for it and I may make it my prayer on this Five Minute Friday. I want to say so long to the status quo; I want to be willing to risk it all; I want to be brave.




The gate is wide, the road is paved in moderation
The crowd is kind and quick to pull you in
Welcome to the middle ground
You're safe and sound and
Until now it's where I've been

'Cause it's been fear
That ties me down to everything
But it's been love, Your love
That cuts the strings

So long status quo, I think I just let go
You make me wanna be brave
The way it always was is no longer good enough
You make me wanna be brave
Brave, brave

I am small and I speak when I'm spoken to
But I am willing to risk it all
I say Your name, just Your name
And I'm ready to jump
Even ready to fall

Why did I
Take this vow of compromise?
Why did I
Try to keep it all inside?

So long status quo, I think I just let go
You make me want to be brave
The way it always was is no longer good enough
You make me wanna be brave
Brave, brave

I've never known a fire that didn't begin with a flame
And every storm will start with just a drop of rain
But if You believe in me that changes everything
So long, I'm gone

So long status quo, I think I just let go
You make me wanna be brave, I wanna be brave
The way it always was is no longer good enough
You make me wanna be brave
Brave, brave, brave



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Comments

  1. tparkerMay 3, 2013 at 6:00 PM

    You, of course, are not a sub total of your circumstances. You are the gifts God has put inside you. I've heard it said that out of our deepest hurt will come our greatest ministry. For me it has to do with a combination of being used by ministries and churches in the area of my writing gift and being super morbidly obese. I'm working on a book right now about my 250 lb weight loss. I believe God will use it to minister to those in the same spot I was nine years ago. Maybe there is something you can do to help other heal from the devastation of divorce. Praying for you my new friend. Be brave.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AndreaMay 3, 2013 at 9:12 PM

      Congratulations on your weight loss! I hope I can find a way to use my life change to help others like you are!

      Delete
  2. DeniseMay 3, 2013 at 6:06 PM

    God bless you sweety. You are so much more than a woman whose husband left. You are a brave, beautifu daughter of the King. That makes you a princess, now put your tiara on, and walk through your life bravely, and happy.

    ReplyDelete
  3. NacoleMay 3, 2013 at 7:30 PM

    Hello sweet Andrea, you were before me on the link-up at Five Minute friday! I am very sorry, dear one, to hear about your divorce and the pain you are struggling through. I wrote about a struggle as well--isn't it probably non-coincidental that a lot of us wrote about struggles when it comes to "Brave"? I had a hard time beginning this write. I see a mountain before me, but no matter the mountains before us, sister, God has us and He is on our side. He says keep putting one foot in front of the other and do the next good thing, beloved.

    ReplyDelete
  4. AndreaMay 3, 2013 at 9:18 PM

    Your "Brave" post was so moving! I pray for healing for you and thank you for the reminder to keep putting on foot in front of the other.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Inking the HeartMay 9, 2013 at 12:31 AM

    Andrea, My heart hurts for you. You are walking down a very hard road but I am praying for you. I pray that the Truth that you are hearing would be louder than the lies. I pray that you find the courage to see yourself as Christ sees you, and that the shadow of the cross covers you more than the shadow of a man's sin against you. Rest in the prayers of others and know you are lifted up tonight. Love, Rachael @ Inking the Heart

    ReplyDelete

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