Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/. This week's word is Present.
This photo of me was taken on a gondola in Venice. My sister and I didn't even know that the tour group had arranged for gondola rides and we almost didn't go. We thought about the money, the fact that as you can see by all of the straps hanging off of me, we had almost everything valuable with us and what would happens were filling our brains but we decided to go for it. And I am so glad that we did, that we lived in the present and had this once in a lifetime moment.
Coincidently, just weeks from getting back from that trip, the Five Minute Friday word was also present. I'd like to say that I've resolved everything I wrote about in that post, but unfortunately, I still struggle with the present. I can go through my day just fine, living in the moment and enjoying the present. But the minute my head hits the pillow, the tapes reliving the past start playing. The what ifs and the what's wrong with me drown out the memories of a perfectly good day and how this life, this present, is just fine even if it isn't how I thought it would be.
What I'm trying to do more often, and I think I may be succeeding at this, is to remember when those tapes hit play, that God is present. He has me in the palm of his hand and can turn the past into a wonderful present. I just have to be present in this moment and feel his presence in my life.
I actually read the other post first, (you'll see my confused comment over there). But it's good to see the contrast between your perspective on the prompt "then" and "now". I can totally relate to the "tapes playing", and also have recurring tapes that "play" in my head. What I've learned in the past two years is that when hitting the "stop" button doesn't work, I can hit the "rewind" and "replay" button and then "pause", and talk it through like a sport's announcer. Once I started doing this I realized that all of the hard stuff that I've been through... scars... pains...regrets... NONE of those things had the power to take me out! I'm still here!! And the worries... concerns...threats of my past did not win. I did! I am learning to use those tapes to my advantage because there is always a new threat that seems bigger than the one. All we can do is live in the present. So, thank you for being present and be encouraged!
ReplyDeleteVisiting from FMF. Your trip to Venice sounds amazing- that is one place I'd love to go.
ReplyDeleteI also struggle to stay focussed on the present sometimes- I think a lot of people do- but I love your comment that even when we are replaying the past in our minds God is still present with us and he can use those things. So important to stay present to him and know that he is present with us.