Skip to main content

Five Minute Friday: Last

We were supposed to last. On paper it didn't look like we should. I was 8 years older than you but I acted younger than my age and you acted older so we met in the middle. We were supposed to defy the odds and be in the 50% that lasted. Then one day you told me you were going to move out, then another day you told me you wanted a divorce. I felt like it was going to be the last time I was loved.

Tomorrow you are getting remarried.  I thought I would be your last wife because when you left, you told me that you didn't want to be married. But today they published your marriage license in the newspaper so that makes it oh so real that our marriage did not last.

I have spent a lot of time questioning things - why didn't we last, what was the last thing I said to you before you left, will this heartache last forever?

One thing I have not questioned is God's love for me. It will last forever.

If I let go of this heartache, it won't last forever. You may not even be the last husband I have. My belief in myself has to outlast this rejection so that I can be the person I was supposed to be and that my lasting impression on this earth is one of a victor not a victim who helped others when their forever didn't last.

Comments

  1. Oh, Andrea--
    Thank you so much for writing this. I trust this was divine timing, this word on this day, and I hope that these five minutes proved to be therapeutic and healing for you. I wish you grace and peace and love--the satisfying, ever-LASTing love of our perfect Savior, as you learn what this new life looks like.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I recently underlined every reference to God's love for us in the bible - the main theme seemed to be that it was faithful and everlasting. May you know His love for you more and more in what I imagine is a difficult week and may you go from victim to victor in order that you can encourage many others.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Five Minute Friday: Time

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ . This week's word is Time. Sometimes time feels like this, like we are in it. Standing inside it, watching life pass by. It is so easy to get stuck in a time - in our pain, in our hurt. We hear the ache tick away in our head like a giant clock. Time, instead, is a gift. More time with family, more time to accomplish goals, more time to see the world. When you are hurting, it seems like time takes forever. One day turns into another day, turns into another day. When we hate a job, the five days of time that make up a work week seem to go on forever. But those five days are also a gift. Because these days, a job is not a guarantee. I want to see time as gift, not as a chore. I want to be on the other side of it, wishing there was more of it. Making the most of every hour, minute, and second instead of

Five Minute Friday: Roots

Lisa-Jo Baker (lisajobaker.com) hosts a weekly event on her blog called "Five Minute Friday". The rules are 1. Write for 5 minutes flat – no editing, no over thinking, no backtracking. 2. Link back here and invite others to join in. 3. And then absolutely, no ifs, ands or buts about it, you need to visit the person who linked up before you & encourage them in their comments. Seriously. That is, like, the rule. And the fun. And the heart of this community.. So here's my first try at this. Today's topic was Roots. Roots – I think about my grandparents who lived on a farm until my grandfather’s diabetes worsened and they moved to a town with a hospital nearby. My father still says he wished he could have kept that farm. I think of my grandmother who was a widow for 20 years. Every year she would stand over my PaPa’s grave, wishing she was with him. I think of my parents, a product of those grandparents, how hard my father worked to put 2 girls through

Five Minute Friday: Dwell

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/ . This week's word is Dwell. I have thought about this word a lot - where should I dwell. After my divorce, I had a big decision to make - did I buy X's half of the house and continue to dwell where I had for the past 15 years or did I sell and move to a new dwelling. After crunching numbers and weighing my options, I decide to stay in the house we had bought together. Because, when it came right down to it, I loved my house. I felt safe there. I try not to dwell on the sadness that happened in this place but instead try to dwell on making it my own. I have painted rooms in colors X would have never agreed upon, I have bought artwork that he would never have hung. I want to dwell in a place that reflects who I am. When the yard is full of weeds and the basement full of water, I long to dwell in