Skip to main content

31 Days: Post-It


Today would have been my 23rd wedding anniversary. It is hard to believe that it has been that long since I stood in the front of that church making vows that I thought would be forever.. I do feel a bit silly that I still mark this day, that it still has such an impact on me. When I told my friends at church today what the significance of today was they said, "Don't look back." Easier said than done.

This post-it is one that I have on my dresser mirror. I'm not sure who said these words, Joyce Meyer or Joel Osteen, but they resonated with me so that I put them on a post-it shaped like an arrow to remind myself to look up, that God had rejected my marriage and that I should let it go. So far, I haven't done such a great job of that. Maybe I need a bigger post-it.

I know that may sound weird to say that God rejected my marriage but I do believe that things happen for us and not to us. I still haven't figured out why my marriage ended. I have some theories but in my loneliness, I do not like those answers. I think if X was supposed to be in my life, he wouldn't have walked away. But I just can't quit mourning the loss of that relationship.

So I will keep this post-it on my mirror and look at it each morning as I dress for work. And maybe one day it will get through my thick skull and into my brain, and my heart, that the end of my marriage happened for me, not to me. I'll keep you posted on how that goes.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

31 Days: Story

I've chosen to do Five Minutes Free Writes as my 31 Days project but with a twist. I'm going to do a post on positivity using that word. I will tell you why on Day 4 when the word is why. Stay turned.

My church is highlighting a different member every month is the Sunday bulletin. It's a way for the members to find out more about each other and also for the students who join us from the nearby college campus to learn more about the church and who might serve as mentors to them. I was asked to tell my story on a recent Sunday. Have you ever written a bio of yourself? You'd think it would be easy but it's not. Am I serious or funny? How many details do I give? I worked on it for awhile and found myself  tempted to list the ways I fall short - the plans I haven't carried out, the goals I haven't achieved. I was listing all of the things I wasn't instead of telling the story of who I am.

This is what I came up with: Andrea was born and raised in Tulsa. She ha…

31 Days: Capture

When I was in Niagara Falls last month, I was fascinated by the power of that wonder. I wanted to capture the sound of the water as it rushed down. I wanted to capture the feeling of awe that I felt as I stood there by this awesome God-made marvel of nature.

I always struggle with capturing moments. I am tempted to take as many photos as I can, so that when I get home I can remember it all. I love having the photos, they take me back to the wonderful sites I've seen. But I also find that looking at places simply through a lens or screen, I miss the things around it that make that place special. You can't capture a smell or an electricity in the air of a place by taking photos or videos. You need to stand still and take it all in to capture the essence of a place.

I am still glad that I have this short video of Niagara Falls. It does capture some of the amazement I felt that night. But I will always treasure the memories that I captured in my mind of that special moment when I…

Five Minute Friday: Just

For 46 years for me and 95 years for her, February 22 was just my Grandma's birthday. Yes, she shared it with George Washington, but the significance ended there. It was just Grandma's birthday.
Then 11 years ago today, it became the day that X told me he wanted a divorce. It went from Grandma's birthday to one of the worst days of my life, forever marked as a terrible day to be mourned every year.
But what if I turned it into just another day. I will always remember it as my Grandma's birthday, turning to fond memories of her and wishing I could still have celebrated with her these past 22 years since she's been gone, but what if it was again, just that - Grandma's birthday.
Is it healthy to mark it has one of my worst days? What if it was just the thing I needed? I'm not saying that the heartbreak was a good thing but there are plenty of sayings that indicate that it is in the breaking that we are healed. What if it was the day that I was set free to purs…