It is a little ironic that I forgot to do my 31 Days post when the word was "silence." I'd like to say that it was symbolic, that I chose to be silent on day 5 but it was not premeditated. But maybe it was subconscious.
I hate silence. The minute I walk into my house, I turn the tv on so that there is noise. When I am at work, I have headphones on to listen to music to avoid the silence of my office. I am a nervous talker, filling any silences with a barrage of trivia to keep the uncomfortable quiet at bay.
I often complain that I can not hear God. I have joked that I need a burning bush to let me know what I should do. I need something obvious, like a slap against the back of my head, NCIS' Gibbs style, to get my attention.
But what if my aversion to silence is what's keeping me from hearing God? What if I'm drowning him out with the tv chatter, music blaring in my ears, and jabbering blaring in others' ears. What if I could comfortable with the quiet. Could I hear God then?
They say silence is golden. I'm not sure what that means but what if the wisdom I gain from the silence is worth as much as gold. Wouldn't the change I seek in my life be better if it was because I was pursuing God's will for my life?
Until I get my burning bush or slap against the back of my head, I guess I will learn to love silence and hope that it brings me wisdom I am looking for.