Today should have been my 21st wedding anniversary. My thoughts all day were full of the things that never will be, of the life that I had planned when I took those vows that Saturday in October. I have struggled to push those thoughts to the back of my brain and push forward the ones that say I can still have a great life. It may not look like the one I thought I'd have back in 1993 but that doesn't mean it can't be good, maybe even better.
It is so hard to not let disappointments cause you to give up on your dreams. I fought against this as early as in the first weeks after my husband moved out. I bought two books from Amazon, "Lies at the Altar: The Truth about Great Marriages" and "1,000 Places to See Before You Die." I don't think it was a conscious decision but I think it was my mind's way of having a foot in both possibilities. "Lies" could offer the keys to saving my marriage and "1,000 Places" could be the key to saving me if he didn't come back.
Joseph Campbell's quote "We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one that is waiting for us" is the inspiration for this blog. By now I had hoped to be showing readers how I had moved onto the life waiting for me and lived happily ever after. I think I'm closer to that than I was two years ago when I started this but I'm still struggling. Maybe my struggles can help someone not feel so alone. The bad days as well as the good make up this life. And not giving up on your dreams, that will help you get through the bad days until the good outnumber the bad.