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31 Days: Do Take The First Step In Making Plans - Or Not


I'll admit, I am guilty of the opposite of the first advice. I wait for people to contact me. And when they don't, I feel like a loser with no friends. But what if everyone else is doing the same thing - waiting for me to make the call? What if everyone else is like me, going through life doing their best to get out of bed and put one foot in front of the other. And what if someone calling them for a lunch date could give them the encouragement they need to realize they aren't in this alone.

I have a friend that I used to work with. Every Wednesday, we would go out to lunch together. Then I changed jobs and we would still have our Wednesday lunch dates but not as frequently. When she came to work at the same place as I did, the frequency of our dates increased again. But then she left the company and we tried for awhile to do our lunch dates but meetings or deadlines or life would get in the way. We would trade messages via Facebook posts talking about how we really needed to have one of our dates but another week would go by and we wouldn't share a meal.

When we ran into each other at the grocery store and she promised that she would go home right then and send me email about lunch and she didn't, I almost gave up. But I didn't and last week we finally had lunch together. It was as fun as I remembered. As we hugged before we got into our cars, we vowed to not let as much time pass before we saw each other again. And I intend to keep that vow. Even if I'm the one doing all of the asking.

There is a flip side to this. If the reason you aren't making plans with people is because you prefer to stay home and read the latest best seller, then that's ok. Your life can be whatever you want it to be. If a weekend spent at home binge watching a series on Netflix is your dream come true, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I know I am guilty of reading Facebook and Twitter and thinking "why am I not out there doing (fill in the blank)" but if I'm honest with myself, sometimes (fill in the blank) is not appealing to me at all and my evening at home, which was absolutely nothing to tweet about, was the best time I've had in weeks.

My point in all of this is, be true to yourself. If a lunch date every day of the week is what you crave, then text, call, or email everyone you know until your social calendar is full. But if a quiet mid-day meal at home is what you need to recharge your batteries and give yourself the strength to make it through the last four hours of the work day, fix yourself a turkey sandwich and revel in your perfect version of how to spend your lunch hour.

Me, I like to mix it up. I love catching up with friends at a favorite restaurant, enjoying a meal that doesn't involve me doing the dishes. And if I can be a lifeline to someone, that's better than any lunch special I can think of. But I also like the peace and quiet of my living room and my favorite weekends are the ones where I close the front door behind me on Thursday night and don't open it again until I leave for church on Sunday morning.

It's up to you to make your life what you want it to be. And when you've figure out what that life is, don't justify or apologize to anyone for living life on your own terms.

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