Skip to main content

31 Days of Five-Minute Free Writes: Day 7 - Love

This post on love probably won't take me 5 minutes to write. It's pretty simple - I don't believe in it.


I do believe in God's love for me and the love that it took for Jesus to die on the cross for me.

I believe in my parents' love. They've been married almost 57 years and still hold hands.

I believe in their love for me - I've never doubted that for one second. And I've messed up in some pretty big ways.

And I believe in the sisterly love between me and my younger sibling.


But that's it. I don't believe in romantic love, the kind you see in movies or the kind that people gush about on Facebook. I believe gone are the days where people overlook someone's quirks and push through to a 57th wedding anniversary. It is a sad existence to feel that way but after being on my own for 8+ years, I've given up on love. I've tried to fill my days with church activities and lunch out with friends but when it comes down to it, I still go home to an empty house. I am hoping that after some more time passes, I will let my guard down and believe once again. But for now, my heart is safer not believing in love.


Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Five Minute Friday: Regret

Regret - this is only a 5-minute Friday post so I will not try to list all of the things I regret. As Richard from Texas says in Eat Pray Love, I have oceans of regret. I have dog paddled so long in that ocean of regret that I have thought about just letting the water pull me under. But the thing I have discovered is that regret gets you nowhere unless you learn from it. And unless you have access to a time machine, regret gets you nowhere fast.

So when I thought about what I would make my word of the year, progress is what I chose. (Not writing a post on my word of the year is regret #26 on my list.) I would make lists and when I hadn't marked anything off of them, or the sufficient number of things off, I would chuck the list and give up. Lent is a perfect example. I do really well when I chose to give up something but if I make a resolution to pray more or like I did this year and tried to follow Ann Voskamp's Lent series and fail, I'd feel like a failure and I'm s…

Write 31 Days

I have struggled with a theme for this year's 31 days. I waited for the Write 31 Days prompts, hoping I would be inspired. But when I got to some tricking questions, I abandoned that idea. Then my thought was Follow My Dreams with the things I should be doing to achieve that goal. But then I got my daily text from Shine.com that read "How often do we think 'When I get to X, then I'll feel good...pushing happy to the future'". Am I waiting until I feel like I have achieved enough steps in my journey to be happy?  I beat myself up so much for not doing what I think I should be doing, I couldn't spend 31 days doing that to myself. Then the Five Minute Writes prompts came and I thought, "Maybe I can build action points around those points to spend my October accomplishing things." But isn't that still telling myself that I'm not good enough?

So for this Write 31 Days, I'm going to do just that. Write. I'm not going to try to fit acc…

31 Days: Invite for Five Minute Friday

Is there anything better than receiving an invitation to do something fun? This is a photo from a concert that my friend invited me to attend with her. It is the band Dawes. The evening was so much fun. We grabbed dinner at a restaurant my friend had never been to and then we stood in line for the general admission show. Since we were the third and fourth people in line, we were able to get right up next to the stage. It was one of the most amazing evenings I've ever had.

It was so nice that my friend, someone I met at church, remembered that I liked this band and invited me to join her at their concert. It is hard to make new friends after a certain age and this invitation from her made me so thankful that I had someone to go out and have fun with.

I think invitations are one of the best things that being the part of a church bring to my life. On my first Sunday there, someone invited me to attend a Sunday School class. The next invitation I received was for the women's book…