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31 Days of Five-Minute Writes: Day 9 - Trust for Five Minute Friday

Five Minute Friday is a writing event that has writers spending five minutes writing on the same topic and then sharing them at http://katemotaung.com/five-minute-friday/. This week's word is Trust.

Trust is the perfect word for this Friday. Today would have been my 22nd wedding anniversary. So many days it has taken everything I have to trust that my marriage ending would not be the end of me. So many days I have looked at Jeremiah 29:11 and strived to believe that God has a good plan for me. Trust is so hard.

You would think it would be the opposite. Why isn't trust easy? We fight so hard to figure it all out, to find the answers, when trusting would be so much easier. Trust is so much easier when it comes to everything in our lives. Why don't we trust that God is carrying us? Why do our brains insist on figuring it out?

I sat in a Starbucks today writing in a Moleskin journal (is it just me or do things seem more profound when written in a Moleskin?) and the words gushed out of me. The trust gushed out of me. Why do I have to figure it all out when somebody so much better at that is taking care of it? I have been fighting for so many years, wondering why I am the way I am, when I should be embracing who God has created. I don't think God wanted my marriage to end but in that coffee shop, I came to the realization that he will make something good out of this. If I will get out of my own way and let him. If I will trust that it will be ok and live my life and leave the heavy lifting to him.

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