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31 Days of Five-Minute Writes: Day 18 - Worth

Oh how I struggle with worth. I've never had a lot of self-confidence or self-esteem, but after my divorce, they really took a hit. Having someone leave you tends to do that. For awhile they were on the uptick, as I was losing weight a few years ago. They were probably at an all-time high when I reached my weight loss goal of 50 pounds. I felt comfortable with my body for the first time in a really long time.

But then the weight came back, and I have felt myself withdraw again. I don't seek out seeing old acquaintances, I skipped attending a funeral because what can I say about myself. I'm single, I have no kids, I have no worth.

I know that's not true. I can't tell you exactly where my worth comes from but I know I have it. I know I have worth as a daughter and a sister. I know I have worth in how I serve my church (even if I did mess up a couple of times this morning while serving as liturgist). However, I don't see worth when I look in the mirror.

All of that being said, I have decided to take a HUGE step and quit hiding behind an image that is 53.5 years old. Here is what I look like today. This photo was taken on my recent vacation. The cheeks are chubbier than I would like, the gray hair is showing a little more than my stylist would like but this is me.

I know that my worth doesn't come from how many pounds I weigh, whether I am married, or whether I am a mother. I'm trying to get this down in my spirit, to find my worth in how I treat people and my heart for helping people.

This is the true me, extra pounds and all! This is the true me, I have worth beyond measure.


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