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31 Days: What I Was I Like as a Child


Today's topic comes from the prompts given by Crystal Stine at Write 31 Days: What were you like as a child? I think this photo of me pretty much sums it up. Sassy, defiant, constant motion. It looks like I may have cut my own bangs so I probably should add mischievous to that list. I often say that my parents were very brave to have a second child given the challenge that I, their first born, was.

I didn't nap, no matter how much my mother rocked me. As soon as she would lay me down, I would pop out of bed and beat her back to her seat in the den. My parents have a home movie of me yelling, "NO" at the camera. When asked why I was so upset, my mother replied, "We were probably trying to get you to do something you didn't want to do." My parents would see that face a lot when I was growing up.

My sister and I defy every description of birth order. I am the rebel who has made all the mistake, she is the responsible one who never gave my parents a bit of trouble, even though she is the younger sibling. When I was in first grade, the school felt I should be put into a different class, one that was a closer match to my abilities. I was not happy about the change. I loved my teacher and my classmates. Once I was in my new class, I asked if I could go to the bathroom and I didn't return. They found me standing outside of my old class, listening in from the hallway. They decided to leave me where I was and wait to promote me the next year. This would be a pattern throughout my life - fighting against what was best for me in favor of what I wanted.

This is one of the things I struggle with the most. I want to remain that little girl, arms folded, refusing to do what I don't want to do. But whenever I do take that step of faith and do what my heart is leading me to do, I am always glad I did it. The feeling of satisfaction in those acts of compliance is much greater than in the screaming no at anyone who will listen, mostly at God these days. Thankfully, I am spending less and less time standing on the outside, wanting to go back than I used to. I love the spunk of that little girl in the photo and I hope I never lose that. I'm just glad that the years have taught me to accept the encouragement of those who see the good in me that I don't always see myself and to stretch myself beyond what I want to what is best.

But I still refuse to take naps.

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