On my way back to work after lunch, I encountered a detour
that wasn’t there when I went to work this morning. I was so frustrated. I had
to weave my way around my downtown’s one-way streets to get back to the office.
Once I got to work, I realized that detour was a metaphor for my life. The path
I’m on right now is not the one I would have chosen. I had a nice straight path
to happily ever after planned. I did eventually get back to work and I can also
get to that happily ever after once I’ve been through this detour of
brokenness. And that happily ever after waiting for me could very well be so
much happier than the one I had planned.
However, just like my frustration in the length of time it
took me to get back to work, this detour of my life is taking way longer than I
would like. I believe with all my heart
the words in Jeremiah 29:11. I believe that God has plans to prosper me and not
to harm me. That He plans to give me hope and a future. It’s the timing of those plans that I have
problems believing in. I often say that while God was passing out patience, I
was holding the door for everyone else. I have no patience. I’m very good at
surrender, at falling to my knees and turning my life over to God, telling Him
that I trust His plan for my life. But when that plan doesn’t materialize on my
timetable, I lose hope. I get frustrated and think that God has forgotten me or
that maybe I haven’t done everything in the right way to get my breakthrough. Then
I do my best imitation of the Israelites and return to the desert to circle
that mountain of sadness for the umpteenth time.
My prayer every day is to accept this season of my life, to
let it show me things about God and myself that I would never have realized if
I were still married. I pray that this detour makes me a better, stronger
person. And most importantly I pray for faith in the perfection of God’s timing
and the belief that I will have that perfect happily ever after that I’ve
always wanted, even if the road to it has detours in it.
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